Ever observed how relieving it is to fart? Ask people who’ve experienced constipation at one time or another. Arrgghh! But really, not only those who suffer from some bowel-related issues get relief by farting. Imagine a crime scenario. The judge, who has the power to pronounce and enforce his views, does so on the culprit in question; whether it be balanced or biased. Everyone should, at some point, have been in either shoe…judge or culprit. When judgment is based on the wrong premise, however, the judge gets a sense of discomfort within him; howbeit obscure. In fact, he’ll need to do much more to hold back from blowing out a “big fat fart”!
Have there been times when you are quick to poke your nose into a matter that’s really not your concern? Oh! That’s easy to detect. What about those issues that actually do concern you; wherein people get on your nerves? How do you draw the line? Maybe you sometimes catch yourself gossiping and labeling others over a wrongdoing; forgetting the difference between constructive criticism and outright slander. Question: “Were you offended?” Answer: “Indeed, you were.” How then do you respond? An urge to hate and castigate, or a calm and loving disposition that understands weaknesses?
How quickly we forget that we all need a chance to make mistakes and be accepted. Little wonder hearts get hardened and minds become jaded when too much is expected of an average imperfect being. I love Marc Anthony’s way of addressing the idea of “judging” in the second verse of his song, I WANNA BE FREE. He asks
“Who’s to say I need change if I’m not what I’m not? Look at me, what you see has been through a lot. Now it’s time for me to find what love’s really all about; and all that I’ve lived without…I wanna be free and live without warning; to finally see what it’s like on the other side”.
We often forget that as much as we may yearn to see perfection in others, we need to let live.
In SEAL’s song, Dreaming In Metaphors, the chord transition (A-minor ~ A-major) and time-signature (7~4) do touch your heart. Much more within the lyrics, you hear the cry of bleeding souls who desire the listening ear of one who is “peaceful and non-judgmental”. In truth, no one really cares how much you know until they know how much you care. It’s becoming clearer, each passing day that compassion holds preponderance over mere intellect in our cold world. Even newlyweds are taught, as in Andy Stanley’s message, that marriage is not just about finding the right partner but more about becoming the right partner for the other party. I heard once that marriage is really about learning to accept, and get used to, attributes you never expected; without hurrying the other party to change and fit into your mould.
[All of this is not centered on marriage; it applies in all facets of social wellness in human relations.] Our desire to judge others just seems like “default mode”. It quickly eludes us that the act of forgiving does not justify the action of the wrong-doer. Rather, it sets us free on the inside; just like the judge would feel a huge relief from constipation when he releases (in series) unwanted gas bubbles through his unpleasant-nature-hole, when decongesting his bowel. Research has it that a forgiving heart is of more [physical and emotional] benefit to the forgiver than the forgiven. It is a life error if we fail to realize that bitterness is drinking a cup of poison, whereas expecting the other party to drop dead. Yes! I love the metaphor. Little wonder Asa says to the Jailer; “let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”
It’s safe and absolutely wise to realise that whenever you assume the position of a judge, your words have a way of coming back to ensnare you! Whenever you feel the need to make some correction over someone’s inadequacy, in the interest of expediency, simply speak the truth in love. Otherwise, we get it twisted altogether. That reminds me of what some guy said on a social network platform; howbeit with some foul language. I quote “more sh*t comes out from your mouth than thru your a**hole!” I think he had a point; describing those who are quick to judge others without watching for the excess garbage they carry on their inside. There really are people who simply won’t drop their judgmental garments. When you meet such people, don’t bother trying to get defensive; they’ll think you’re generating excuses to cover up. Just tell them they need to decongest their polluted bowel tract; by FARTING!
★This article is an excerpt from APOLOGETIX, a psycho-analytical adaptation of Nature’s Cardinals©; intellectual property of Green Tempers Initiative®, of which Damilola MacGregor is a Registered Trustee.
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